![]() ![]() It never dies. That is why I call death – a passing.ĭeath is truly a metamorphosis - like the stages a butterfly goes through: within the chrysalis, the old body parts of the caterpillar are undergoing a remarkable transformation (much like a soul) as it readies for the final stage of its life. What is a soul? As we shed our bodies in the dying process, one’s essence or whole being of mind, heart, and spirit is exposed and illuminated. We can either go out - kicking and screaming trying to control every segment of the process - or surrender in faith.Īs we all know, no one remembers their own birth and the feverish work to grab that first foothold on earth and at the very end, most people are unresponsive as the final drudgery to birth the soul into heaven progresses seemingly without them. As a hospice chaplain, I’ve sat bedside for hours. Day-after-day, year after year I witnessed the arduous process of dying - physical annihilation - and to be honest, it is a fairly similar undertaking for everyone. On the other hand, the emotional and spiritual aspects of dying are as unique as each patient - vigils demonstrated courage, regret, anger, visions of ancestors and holy figures, introspection, remorse, forgiveness, love, and resignation. ![]() ![]() Moreover, often it was more taxing to deal with some families than the patients. I think they were often surprised by my response: In general - no, it was not depressing instead, it was hopeful, sacred, sad, poignant, a privilege and often – a relief for all concerned. People have often asked me if working as a hospice chaplain was depressing. ![]() Palliative treatment can provide a more level playing field in life at least in the realm of medicine. As I see it, some lives are “more fair” than others. But, some people do get stuck picking the shortest straw (through no fault of their own) and endure horrible circumstances in their one shot at this world. Point well-taken (said the naïve, twenty-two-year-old college student). But dad, you argue that God does not dole out “fairness tokens.” We cannot pray harder and longer for God’s favor.” (I get it now as someone who has been kicked around the block a few times). My father would often say to me (in regard to the sustained effort needed for life and the futility of comparison): “Mairzie, fare (fair) is what you pay to get on a bus.” “Ok, dad – so life is not fair. Life on earth is not for the faint-of-heart. On the other hand, our description of the realities of earthly existence would not be complete without acknowledgement of the challenging and painful aspects as well. We chuckle and nod at the often quoted axiom: “The only things we can be certain of in life are death and taxes.” Well, we know we can be certain of much more during our brief encounter with earth: love, beauty, friendship, and a multitude of ways to find meaning and delight. The dying process of anything (plant or animal) should remind us of how quickly life advances and therefore - we should kick up our heels and live in joyfulness - with courage and conviction, a will for adventure and learning, a sense of purpose, and humble service toward others. Those departures of loved ones and all of the many defeats (trials) that life hands us should only help prepare us for the final task of life – dying. Yes, we’ve grieved losses big and small: of career missteps, relocation, relationship fractures, financial failures, our own health problems, dying pets, lost opportunities, or property loss (to name just a few). We’ve slowly watched loved-ones and friends pass ahead of us. Many of us might echo that very same sentiment. Woody Allen once said: “I’m not afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” Intend to not hasten or postpone death.To affirm life and regard death as a natural process.Offer a support system to help patients live as actively as possible until death.Integrate the physical, psychological, and spiritual aspects of patient care.Provide relief from pain and other distressing symptoms.The five principles of Palliative Care are: The Latin root word for palliative is palliat, or “cloaked”, and palliation does in a sense cloak or mask a person’s pain. ![]()
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